Symposium: Whose Happiness?

This article is in response to “Has the Sexual Revolution Been Good for Women?” by Mary Eberstadt and is part of the symposium, “Sex and the Polis: Perspectives on Marriage, Family, and Sexual Ethics.”

However imperfectly, the utilitarians resonated with a core instinct of the human person–they recognized the natural drive to acquire peace and pleasure.  Building upon this theory, sexual revolutionaries of the 1960’s believed that this desire for happiness could be fulfilled through trading the “outdated” restraints of tradition for unconditional freedom.  However, the past fifty-plus years present a different narrative, one littered with unfulfilled discontents, begging reexamination of our search for happiness and security.

Sexual “liberation” and its promises of fulfillment have sadly become a defining characteristic of modernity.  Rejecting traditional mores, various manifestations of license have been presented as the enlightened path, especially for women.  None have been so “free” as today–from responsibility, from moral constraint–thanks to the hookup and contraceptive mentalities.

In her recent article, Mary Eberhardt notes several correlations between our hyper-sexualized society and considerably diminished returns.  Rather than making us happy, contemporary attitudes towards human sexuality have instilled a destructive sense of disillusionment and loss.

Complementing these observations, Alban McCoy, Dean and Fellow of St. Edmund’s College (Cambridge), further commented on this phenomenon and its effects upon relationships.  He argues that by exploiting sexual license, we have utterly missed the point and path to a truly fulfilled existence.

A flourishing and shared life of delight, friendship and love depends on much more than our sleeping arrangements.  One can have lots and lots of sex and yet miss out entirely on these indispensable conditions for healthy and wholesome living … Indeed, empty physical intimacy can make it much worse.  You are never more alone than when you are not alone in a loveless and empty show of false intimacy.

Human sexuality holds the power to foster closeness and unity, yet authentic union necessitates recognition and honor of the sacred.  The modern disposition towards sex must be replaced with respect for the integrity of the human person–a culture of virtue.  Until then, as a society, we have settled to seek intimacy in a wasteland.