Engaging Gay Activists on Campus: A Primer


The name of Jesus made me recoil in anger. Oh, I was OK with a certain range of “live and let live,” but I was also in a war against stupid. “Live and let live” meant to keep your religious practice in the closet. While Freud considered the Christian faith pathological, I considered it applied cultural phobia, and it was not welcome in my classes.

It was 1998. I was a newly tenured professor in the English department of a large university. My field was queer theory.

From a Christian perspective, I was the vampire and you were the fresh blood. Let me be clear. I had a lesbian partner and I wasn’t cheating on her. I didn’t want to hop into bed with you. I wanted you to hop the worldview fence and see the enlightened path that feminist theory and LGBT advocacy alone could offer you. I wasn’t thumping tolerance. Nothing short of a cosmological paradigm shift was my focus.

I taught a large “Introduction to Women’s Studies” class for our university’s core humanities requirement. This class served as a bridge between the university and the community through service learning, and between radical ideas and domestic life through the texts and assignments that I gave. No longer was gay and lesbian culture some marginalized, sexually perverse subculture. We were the face of a new social decency, and we knew this. We were the new thumbprint of civil rights.

My PhD was in English literature and critical theory. I was trained to read books and make sense of them. The Bible was on my radar as a book that needed a good public spanking. That the Bible claimed unearned ontological “true truth” was laughable to me back then. Christians had one book that maintained this status on its own terms. I had a hundred that tore that argument apart.

Oh, I wasn’t hard hearted—not too much. I saw young Christian students try nobly to hang on to their sentimental ideas. But their emotional beliefs were no match for me. My heart went out to students for whom “knowing Jesus” meant not knowing anything else; I wanted to help liberate them into a more enlightened path. On my “Intro to Women’s Studies” syllabus, I reminded students that all papers must be written from a feminist life- and worldview. That was the law, because worldview and hermeneutics mattered to me. I wasn’t just interested in your ability to draw feminist conclusions about literature and life. I wanted you to have an integrated knowledge.

The integrated feminist hermeneutics that I taught drew a stark contrast to what the Christians on campus were doing. They told me what the Bible said but could not defend why it was true. They used the Bible to answer a question and to stop a conversation, not deepen it. After trying that tactic in my class, even the most devout young Christian saw the hermeneutic futility. Or perhaps they just got tired of arguing with me.

Gay activism on campusIn my estimation, Christians were not only bad thinkers and faulty handlers of texts and ideas, but they were emotionally and spiritually violent—after all, how dare they declare me and everyone I loved lost in “sin”? As the undergraduate adviser to the LGBT advocacy groups on campus, I remember the kind of strange “Christian love” to which we were subjected. My favorite was what happened during student orientation. It is a common tactic for the Christian groups to request a table adjacent to the LGBT group during fall orientation. One year I asked this well-known Christian group why our tables were always adjacent. A clean-shaven, speckled-face boy said, “So I can pray for you.”

“Well, are you saving any of your prayers for the chess club there on your other side? Or do only queers serve as the beneficiaries of your prayer life?” I asked once.

I don’t know what offended me more: the misogyny, racism, and homophobia of the Bible, or the Christians who thumped it, with their presumptuous diagnoses of sin and solution.

All that changed when a Christian pastor and his wife became my friends. Our friendship began in an odd way. I had written an editorial in the local newspaper protesting the Promise Keepers. Pastor Ken Smith wrote me a letter in response. It was a kind and inquiring letter. Our correspondence led to dinners together and book exchanges. We talked openly about sexuality and politics. My new Christian acquaintances did not act as though such conversations were polluting them. They encouraged me to read the Bible (which I needed to do to write my book on the Religious Right anyway), and they discipled me in real Christian grace (by being my neighbor and my friend). They showed me how people leaned hard on the Bible. And after two years of meeting with my Christian neighbors, getting to know some of their church members, and reading the Bible multiple times through in a year, I noticed something about this text.

It was different from all the rest.

It had an integrated revelation, a vast and capacious philosophy about sin and redemption, and a God-man who was no effeminate runway model or martyr. I also noticed something about these Christians: they had an inner capacity to withstand trials and agonies without blame shifting or depression. Finally, I noticed something about me: I was a lot like Eve. The Bible promised understanding after obedience, not the other way around (John 7:17). That stopped me in my tracks: Did I want to understand why homosexuality was a sin from God’s point of view, or did I just want to argue with Him? After two years of this, the Bible got to be bigger than me. It overflowed into my world. I realized that the Bible was my holy highway to a living God; that through it I could learn what God wanted of me and why, and through it I could send my pleas to His throne of grace. The Bible transmitted the language and lexicon of a Holy God, transforming me to grow in His likeness. It truly was the only way.

It was a shock to realize that my zeal for feminism exemplified the deceptiveness of sin and that I was really persecuting Jesus the whole time.

When Jesus claimed me for myself, I learned that repentance unto life meant turning around—my sexuality, my career, my scholarship, my hopes, and my dreams. In conversion, I lost everything but the dog. My feelings had nothing to do with it. God’s truth superseded all, including my feelings.

I share with you my background because if you want to engage gay rights activists on campus, you need to know where they are coming from. While there is diversity in the LGBT community, because I was once a member of this tribe, I open my life to you here so that you can better understand your audience.

I am now a wife, a homeschooling mom, and a writer. My feelings caught up to my Christian faith. My husband is a pastor, and together we try to prepare Christian students to lead lives of Christian faith-based intellectual integrity on college campuses. I believe the following list of Dos and Don’ts will prove useful for students in secular as well as Christian schools, because sin lurks in our hearts, and temptations flourish everywhere.


1. Don’t neglect the fellowship of the saints and the formal worship of God every Lord’s Day in a solid, orthodox church, one where the clergy know you by name and are willing to come to campus to hear lectures, serve on panel discussions, and lovingly bring Christian life and worldviews to the campus.

2. Don’t get careless about modesty, in speech or in dress. The unbelievers and believers around you may struggle and be tempted by you. Don’t give others a reason to stumble or to lust. Your body and your speech are precious to a holy God. Don’t act on campus differently than you would act in your home or in your church.

3. Don’t give your heart away to unbelievers. Be intentional about building strong Christian friendships on campus. Hold yourselves accountable to good spiritual practices. Do not engage in “missionary dating.”

4. Don’t witness alone. I have counseled college students who find themselves suddenly in gay and lesbian relationships when they started out witnessing to a gay or lesbian activist on campus. Remember that sexual sin is predatory. I am NOT saying that your gay and lesbian colleagues on campus are sexual predators. I AM saying that Genesis 4:7 defines in a broad way the predatory nature of sin. In this verse, God says to Cain: “Why are you angry and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” So, don’t desire the pleasures of the world; don’t think that sin is dormant; DO know that sin has agency and knows your name.

5. Don’t indulge in pornography of any kind, and if you do, repent and turn away. DO tell your pastor/priest what you have done so that you can have some helpful accountability.

6. Don’t be surprised when your own feelings of sexuality emerge in ways that you didn’t expect. God made you, and He made sexuality for His glory. How you struggle with sin and even your repentance gives God glory. Keep the Lord close to you as you navigate this new world. Don’t think for a minute that the Lord has abandoned you or does not understand you. Remember: He was tempted in ALL ways, but without sin.

7. Don’t engage gay rights activists on campus without a thorough examination of your motives, your spiritual integrity and maturity, your spiritual community and its support of you, and the thickness of your skin.

8.  Don’t get sidelined on rabbit trails.  The only sin that you need to focus on is a heart in enmity against a holy God.  How sin manifests itself (homosexuality, adultery, etc.) should not become larger than life for you.

9. Don’t forget that people are image bearers of a holy God.  Don’t define people by their sins even if they do this to themselves. 


1. Do tie in with a local church and develop a hermeneutically sound defense of the Bible. You need to know why it is true, not just what it says. If you merely bring with you sentimental Christian epithets as a spiritual defense, you will be giving blood to the vampire that I used to be. And you will be in a war zone, alone, with a kid’s squirt gun for defense. You need the Bible to be the sword of the spirit and to know how to wield it in love and power. To do this, you must know it better than you do today, and you must hone and sharpen your knowledge in a community of believers within the church (not just the campus Christian community).

2. Do study rigorously and work hard to understand your academic disciplines from a Christian perspective. God made all things, even your course of study. Renew your minds and give God glory by working hard to see His hand in all creation.

3. Do pick your core courses carefully and avoid those classes that demand conformity with worldviews that the Bible rejects. It is hard to “try on” ideas and not be tempted by them. The first step of seduction is trying on an idea just to see if it fits. Remember: all powerful lies contain within them a large dollop of truth. This holds true for gay and lesbian worldviews as well. Be careful about putting yourself in places where you can only advocate for half the story.

4. Do share your faith in ways that are hand-on-hand, heart-on-heart, and Bible-on-experience. Do invite clergy to come to campus and meet your friends, serve on panel discussions, and help create an ongoing, vital dialogue that shines the light of truth into your relationships and activities. When debates about gay marriage arise, do know that God created marriage as an ordinance to reflect Christ and the church, not merely as a moral arrangement to curtail promiscuity. Ask your pastor/priest to help you think about the ideas that circle around you in biblical ways.

5. Do get your church involved when you are called to engage gay rights activists in a public way. See if your pastor, elders, or priest is willing to serve on a panel discussion, with a moderator who will fairly distribute questions. Bring the church to campus and have the church take the direct heat of the debate. Why? By letting your church set up the terms of the questions, you can do rich work in the field that is most ripe: in coffee shops, classrooms, and on the quad. By letting your church initiate the vocabulary of sin and grace, fall and redemption, individual rights and Christian community ethics, this allows you to define and shape these terms in the context of your academic disciplines and your personal lives. Public debate is tricky. It sets people up to use their performance-face. But Christ wants our hearts.

6.  Do remember that you must seek peace with those with whom you disagree (Romans 12:18). While we are to obey all lawful commands, if there is a conflict between the law of God and the law of man, we must always obey God (Acts 5:29). So, if your Christian group is picketed, threatened with closure, or denied university funds, you must prayerfully make your strongest biblical case for your vitality on campus. You must do so remembering that the college campus is not the church. You might appeal to the core liberal value that undergirds postmodernism or to the university’s diversity clause. You should find fluent ways to talk about sin and grace. For example, a Christian’s group adherence to the 10 Commandments is similar in foundation to the Math club’s adherence to numeracy. If you lose all your funding, don’t close shop. Appeal to churches and the local community for help. Perhaps your seemingly shut door is God’s open highway to heftier allies?

Finally, remember: Your prime motivation in engaging gay activists should be God’s glory alone. Every conflict or personal struggle is an opportunity to glorify God. But God does not promise temporal blessing in each conflict.

Christians befriended me when I was their staunch enemy. They didn’t identify with me. They identified with Christ, and then walked the long and winding road to me. They trusted that God was bigger than me—and they were right. Don’t ever doubt that in the smallest act of faith and obedience you are planting, or watering, or tilling, or harvesting a legacy of Gospel truth. To God we give the glory!


Dr. Rosaria Butterfield lives in Durham, NC, with her husband, Kent, pastor of the First Reformed Presbyterian Church of Durham, and three of their four children. Author of Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, Rosaria is a homeschool mom, public speaker, and writer, and can be reached at rosariabutterfield.com.

  • http://twitter.com/Con2Glover Constance

    Thank you, Rosaria, for your story. You encourage us to see things through unfamiliar eyes, helping us to change ourselves to better live Christ.

  • Terry Fenwick

    What a perfect statement: “When Jesus claimed me for myself, I learned that repentance unto life meant turning around—my sexuality, my career, my scholarship, my hopes, and my dreams. In conversion, I lost everything but the dog. My feelings had nothing to do with it. God’s truth superseded all, including my feelings.”

  • LAteach

    Dr. Butterfield, I so appreciate the wisdom you’ve shared in this article and the way you’ve laid bare your life and spiritual journey here and in the recent CT article! I wholeheartedly agree with #1 in your “Do” list…could you share a few resources for those of us trying to help young adults–and ourselves–to know the WHY of what we believe? Thank you!

  • James

    Just keep telling yourselves you know the holy law while the rest of the world’s population is wrong and doomed to hell. Yea, that’s realistic.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Smith/100001911570536 Linda Smith

      James, please explain why you don’t think that it is realistic to believe that most of the world is wrong. Is truth always true no matter who or how many believe it? or is truth decided by what a majority of the world believes? If what the majority of the world believes changes, does truth change? When the majority of the world believed the earth was flat, was the earth truly flat? Was Galileo wrong until most of the world came around to his way of thinking, and only then, he became correct?

    • Kimberly Crowley

      What is not realistic is thinking there is nothing special about a book that has been meticulously passed down for so long, and has been so revered . Just so you know, 84% of the population believe in a higher power, and 1/3 are Christians! Why do so many believe? There is power in the “Holy law” – the Bible!

      • Liam Wilcock

        No. Just no.

    • Paul Raymond

      It’s the truth. It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth and we’d be really hateful if we did not tell it.

  • Jesse

    I like how when someone leaves a dissenting comment in a polite manner, it is immediately deleted. Remind you of any other institutions that seek the conceal the truth?

  • Jacob

    Yeah, make sure not to take any classes that could expose you to another world-view, that would most definitely be the end of the world, right?

    • http://www.facebook.com/tracy.weader Tracy Sausser Weader

      Jacob, may I share an experience with you? I wanted to grow in my Christian faith, ok….so I went to a Christian forum online for discussion. Imagine my surprise to find atheists, agnostics, witches and the like there! They challenged to know the why of what I believed instead of just spouting Scripture. You may not like her advice, but it is based in the Word. We are told to be in the world, but not ‘of’ the world. When surrounded by temptations of all kinds, it is easier to stand against them, when you have a solid base to work from. I don’t consider it closure to learning more about diff. world views, but as a way to safeguard myself against being sucked in to things that don’t serve me well as a Christian. Not to say I don’t fall down a lot and believe me I do, but it helps knowing that there are those who help me get back to my feet and start over.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Smith/100001911570536 Linda Smith

      That is not what Dr. Butterfield said, Jacob. There is a difference between examining another world view and “trying on” that world view in order to write the papers that will enable you to pass the course.

  • http://www.facebook.com/christa.guenther Christa Guenther

    Thank you for the heart felt article and advice. God uses our woundedness to lead others through the fire.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1421487141 Christy Marie

    I would say have genuine conversations with people who want conversations. Don’t make friends to ‘convert’ them. That is seen as very deceptive and hurtful to non Christians, and turns them away from Christ. Make friends because you genuinely love them and want to spend time with them. The love of Christ flows naturally through genuine words and acts of love. Basically, treat people on campus the way you would want to be treated. If, for example, a Muslim came up and tried to convert you to their belief system, would you like it if the first conversation turned in to “You’re a sinner in need of Allah because the Koran says so, and you’ll go to hell if you don’t convert”, or “The Koran is the Truth because Muhammed says so”. You can’t win people over like that. People will see the truth of Christ because you have a light that they want, and they will see that God loves them too. Reading the Bible is a good thing, but as Jesus warned, the religious pharisees did that too, seeking the words of eternal life and not finding them. So even reading the Bible, if not done with painstaking intellectual and spiritual honesty and without prayer can be done the wrong way. Seeing the light of Christ through loving word and deed is a magnet in itself.

  • Tony Reynolds

    A very compelling testimony. I hope readers consider that God’s word revealed Him and the truth became apparent through an intellectually honest pursuit to understand it. That is the power of God’s word. An honest reading of this transformative book will break down the mental and spiritual barriers created by our sin.

  • Heather


  • Mike Armistead

    A modern Saul that was persecuting the church was knocked off her horse by the living Word Of God, and claimed by Him to now be an apostle! You need to change your name to ‘Pauline’ to complete the saga! What a beautiful and insightful story. Thanks for sharing this wisdom about what were your motives in your previous life, and how to be an effective witness for Christ in today’s hostile intellectual environment.

  • Kim D.

    Dr. Butterfield may I respectfully suggest that you consider reading “Rome Sweet Home” by Dr. Scott Hahn?
    May God continue to abundantly bless you and your ministry!

  • Pingback: Book review: The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert | ChongsWorship.com()

  • Ashleigh

    you should check out her book- she touches on that a little bit. she also talks about the betrayal her students felt as she was a mentor to many gay and lesbian students.

  • Lianna

    In all honesty, from someone who resides in the middle of these two cultures; it feels as though you have replaced your vendetta against Christianity with a vendetta against gay youth. I wonder how many friends you might have in the middle that look forward to recognizing you again.
    My sincerest regards,

  • Mario Toro

    Gay people can’t change are you stupid or just full of claptrap shit?

    • Kimberly Crowley

      That’s a ridiculous statement. People can, and do change all the time. What is the point the author is making? Did SHE not change when she let the living word of God into her heart? She, for the first time, thoughtfully considered it and it convinced her there is truth, there is a right and wrong and there are things that are best for us. I know many people who read the word in the spirit of trying to understand what it is saying, open-minded enough to see if it made any sense, and the word did what it does…convicts and changes their hearts. Give it a try, there is a lot of wisdom there.

      • Mario Toro

        The rape, murder, and violence committed by the deity Yahweh of that book you so revere FAR outweigh the few shreds of wisdom peppered here and there. Homosexuality is a natural occurence in the human species; to suppress it with stifling religion is the unnatural and WRONG thing here.

        • Kimberly Crowley

          Your accusations against God show you do not know God or the Bible, and you spew out your twisted view because you have no context for the word. I know you haven’t read the Bible, because the whole book of Proverbs alone is nothing but full of wisdom for everyday living. Don’t knock something you don’t know, or I will quote you all kinds of wisdom far above you from the Bible. No one is stifling you with religion.

          • Kimberly Crowley

            Hit post accidentally. I would like you to explain to me how you call homosexuality natural. That is like saying it is natural for zebras and lions to mate. If it was natural, the parts would fit right for procreation.

          • Liam Wilcock

            Holy heck are mentally retarded!?!?!? If you are going to argue a point could you research it first. Humans aren’t even the species with the highest amount of homosexual beings. Bats are. There are countless reports of homosexuality in animals and it isn’t natural no. It just happens. Also “a Zebra and a Lion mate?” Does that mean that if to homosexual animals meet and they are the same species one is going to bit the others head off??? Jesus you need to get your facts straight because currently your facts are more gay then anything on the planet.

          • Kimberly Crowley

            You laugh at my grammar I used that way on purpose? You can’t even write a coherent sentence. You deserve no response because you aren’t intelligent enough to understand it. Bye bye!

          • Liam Wilcock

            First off you just responded to me which makes you a hypocrite. Next I never attacked your grammar because I don’t need to. Finally I’m pretty sure everything I write is coherent and I’m sure my English teacher would back me up. I proved that I am intelligent enough to understand every mispronounced word that comes out of your mouth but since you know you can’t win you are leaving.

          • Liam Wilcock

            Why do you think you are so much better than others. Do you have an inferiority complex and you feel the need to push yourself above others by pushing quotes from a fiction work. I have read the bible and I would like to point out that while many good things are in there they are contradicted multiple times over. My three year old cousins spout nicer things and they aren’t christian.

          • Liam Wilcock

            Also. “I will quote you all kinds of wisdom far above you from the Bible. No one is stifling you with religion. ” How much can you contradict yourself in two sentences? Not much more.

        • Clevie

          Mario, You need to read the Bible with an open mind and heart and not the anger you show here. Homosexuality is not a naural occurrence in human species – there would be no people or animals left – how natural is that. It’s not religion behind it – the parts simply do not fit in homosexuality as they do in natural male and female.

        • Zed


          I speak as a Christian, but as one who has a wider and less conservative viewpoint than many commenting here. (Sadly, some of these people may conclude that I am *not* a Christian because my beliefs differ from theirs — but I’m used to that.)

          The “rape, murder, and violence” you speak of were committed by followers of Yahweh, not Yahweh. That said, there are passages in the Old Testament where Yahweh certainly comes off as being violent and vindictive.

          I’m not sure what you mean by “natural” occurrence in humans. If you mean, occuring in nature, then yes, homosexual behavior does exist in nature. There are also many species that kill their offspring, but we don’t necessarily think these behaviors would be good for humans. Sometimes homosexual behavior among animals (and among humans, too, for that matter) has to do with males establishing dominance. Among animals, what we would call a “homosexual orientation” is relatively rare.

          Among humans, physical and genetic differences have been noted between those who identify as heterosexual and those who identify as homosexual. These differences may or may not make homosexual behavior “natural”; it’s hard to draw definitive conclusions, because the differences noted don’t necessarily “explain” or “prove” homosexuality (not yet, at least).

          As others have noted, if too much homosexuality existed in nature, species would cease to propogate. Propogation alone suggests that heterosexuality might be the norm for animal (and human) behavior. That said, there are various theories that suggest that a certain degree of homosexuality within a society could make sense from an evolutionary point of view, or at least not conflict with it.

          But in a way, all of that doesn’t matter. The Bible makes it fairly clear that homosexuality is sin — that is, behavior that separates us from God — and this author, and most of the people here, believe that the Bible is the inspired and inerrant Word of God. Ultimately, I don’t think these beliefs are entirely rational. But many people come to such beliefs through an encounter with something larger than themselves: call it spiritual, mystical, pararational. (The author apparently encountered it through the lives of other Christians.) Because of this pararational aspect to their beliefs, there is a limit to what rational argument on these questions can accomplish.

      • Clevie

        What jumped out at me are her words, “My heart went out to students for whom “knowing Jesus” meant not knowing anything else; I wanted to help liberate them into a more enlightened path.”. She found it and only when you yourself know what she is stating, then you will become the prodigal son or daughter and know what enlightenment really is.

  • Elsie

    Don, it’s wonderful that you are able to feel empathy for all those who find themselves in this situation. There are countless people who have experienced just such a horrible dagger in their hearts when, after decades of marriage, a husband or wife suddenly chooses to forsake their marriage vows, abandon their spouse and children, and engage in a life of homosexual activity. The sense of betrayal is very hard to bear. In your empathy, I hope each time you hear of someone abandoning their family like that and causing such tremendous pain, you will encourage them to be true to their vows.

    You also have a sense of what Jesus feels. He Himself experienced the ultimate in betrayal, when those He created despised Him so much they put Him to death. Even when we were His enemies, He willingly shed His blood to pay for our sins! What amazing love! Now ALL who repent and place their trust in Him will gain freedom from sin (in all its forms) and gain eternal life in heaven–and know that they will never be abandoned and condemned.

  • Allan Folsom

    Truth isn’t subjective, nor situational. To state that it is, even subtly is to make it less than. She was honest with her partner and that is respectable, even in the broadest of views. I find it curious that the cudgel you use to bash is the one that you decry the most.

  • Penny-Linda P. Thompson

    Thank you for this article. My step daughter decided she was gay about 1 1/2 years ago. It was a shock. I am trying to stay loving and positive. I give my love first. I try not to condemn but she knows knows that I feel homosexuality is a sin and I have shared
    scripture with her. I do like her partner. I don’t want to drive them away. I want them to see God’s love and redemption.

  • Ronald Godfrey

    Don, you are making a lot of assumptions about something you know nothing about. You assume she was hurt and abandoned. You assume the experience must have been horrible. Wander off with a world view? Tell me how you know any of that happened. If that experience was similar to the story Ms. Butterfield told I say she did so in a Christian manner. But I don’t really know.

  • Rosemary Martin

    Wow, what a great testimony, our Father is so awesome. He loves us so very much.

  • Rob Stewart

    5 Things You Should Know About Conversion Therapy http://www.livescience.com/37139-facts-about-gay-conversion-therapy.html

  • Josephine Harkay

    Excluding, yes, condemning, no.

  • Clevie

    Are you asking for her friend and the countless others who hurt people every day – young mothers are abandoning their families for “love” and giving up family and cultures – or are you asking for yourself being rejected?